I’ll never forget in 2014 working with my first life coach, Deb.
It was so timely I found her when I did. She was just starting her life coaching certification program and needed a ‘test’ client. So essentially, I got the SUPER discounted rate. But with a pretty stellar coach.
But poor, Deb – sometimes I worried she didn’t know what she was getting into when I became one of her first clients.
In our very first session, she asked me a question that would go on to change the trajectory of my entire life:
“If you were to start over on a new planet, and you could design it (see it, smell it, etc.) any way that you wanted to – what would your new planet be like?’
In that moment, I looked at her like a deer in headlights.
And then I became a crying deer in headlights.
I had no answer for her. And I was always a girl with answers.
I had no idea what this metaphorical planet would look like, feel like, smell like. And why was my lack of answer making it rain on my face?
(Again – poor, Deb 🤣)
The thought running through my head as tears streamed down my face was:
“What kind of person doesn’t know the answer to this question?”
And it hit me in that moment:
I don’t know myself as well as I was leading myself on to believe.
I knew things I was good at.
I knew things I could excel in.
But I didn’t know what I LIKED.
I didn’t know my tastes.
I didn’t know things I would actively CHOOSE.
And because of this, I didn’t know how to DREAM.
I didn’t know how to dream up this metaphorical planet.
And I didn’t know because I didn’t know myself well enough.
Have you ever been there? Or maybe are there now?
You pursue things you know you’ll excel in to avoid failure, but is simply avoiding failure really your definition of success?
Maybe you didn’t exactly say yes to certain parts of your life, but certainly didn’t say no.
You feel like a passive character in your life, rather than the main one.
If you can relate, you are certainly not alone.
I have obviously experienced this first hand, and I see it often while working with podcasters when first dreaming up their show.
Because you have to know yourself before you can create.
So what do we do when we know we were meant for more, but don’t really know what that ‘more’ is yet?
To me, having a dream represents two things in ourselves. It indicates that we have:
So if you’re anything like I was, and your metaphorical dream planet is causing deer tears (lol), let’s increase self esteem and self trust as our first step to the art of dreaming.
Let’s start by answering these questions:
I believe once you begin to view yourself from this perspective, your dreams will begin to gain clarity.
Esteem. Trust. Clarity of Dream.
This might involve picking up some pieces (reference this blog post) of your personality maybe you left behind. Pieces like:
Whatever it takes to get you there, I want you to write down the answers to these questions.
I like to call this discovery process:
PEACE IN YOUR PIECES.
Holding esteem and trusting yourself will lead to experiencing peace in the pieces of yourself.
And doesn’t that sound delightful?
Going through this journey of knowing myself better (separate from external expectations, affirmation, etc.) – allowed me to step into the version of myself that took risks, made big decisions, and started to BUILD her life actively (if you’d like more on that specific part of my story, leave a comment below to let me know!).
And I want that for you, too.
Friend, what a wonderful world we live in that we even receive the privilege to dream – and actually have the opportunity to act on it to make it a reality. Don’t let this privilege and opportunity pass you by. We have metaphorical planets to build 🙂
And seriously, leave a comment below with your answers – I’ll be sure to read through each word.
Can’t wait to hear what you have to say–
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